my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
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