butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Randomize
