He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
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