This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
Randomize
