Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
