i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
Randomize