I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
this will be a night to untag.
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
