I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
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