remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
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