is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
Randomize
