Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
