he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
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