girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
Randomize
