Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
Randomize
