2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
Randomize
