i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize