I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
Randomize