READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
Randomize