I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
Randomize
