girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
you win again, gameday.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
Randomize