sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
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