I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Randomize
