i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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