In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
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