Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
I just found a bag of teeth...
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
Randomize
