Having a random hookup so left but love u
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
