did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
I am in a vortex of obligation.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
Randomize
