STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
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