I don't think brook has ever known best
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
Randomize