Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
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