There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
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