Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
Randomize
