So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
Randomize
