Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
I use my feet as sexual weapons
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
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