Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
they need to just BURY HIM!
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Randomize
