I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
Randomize
