I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
