I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
