that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
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