actually, I'm a sock model
I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Randomize
