And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize