i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
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