Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
Randomize
