I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
Randomize