Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
Randomize
