There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
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