don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
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