is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
Randomize
