He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
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