We're like a lot better than the average bears
Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
Randomize
