Already got asked if we're dating
Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
Randomize
