What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
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