So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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