I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
