Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
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