no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
Liz is crying about burritos again.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
Randomize
