I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
Randomize
