ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
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