Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
